We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
