So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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