We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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