Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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