they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
