do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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