I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Michael Bay diarrhea
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
