is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
