Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
