can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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