you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Randomize
