I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
