guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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