i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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