He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
