I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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