We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
