people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
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The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
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I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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