He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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