This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
