If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
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I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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