I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
