toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize