I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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