my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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