I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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