New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
