Less talking, more tequila
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
BRING THE BAGELS
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
