it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
