i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Randomize