Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
