I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
