so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
