FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
