Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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