There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
