Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
