Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
