i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
