Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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