That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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