If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
