Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
