North Korea, Best Korea!
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
