..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
