Michael Bay diarrhea
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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