Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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