I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
