My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
