The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
as a side note pls kill me
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