i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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