Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he fucked my hip out of place.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
