So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I want her autograph on my taint
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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