You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
