this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
