like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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