She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
