Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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