is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
