Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
