"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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