would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
