Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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