dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
